We're over two months into 2013! What! It's so crazy that St. Patrick's Day and Easter are just right around the corner. So, I thought I would check in and update my goals, in an attempt to hold me accountable.
Personal
1. Read 1 novel and 1 non-fiction book a month
* January- The Mission of Motherhood, The Litigators
* February- I started books in February, so I'm going to count those when I finish them :)
2. Capture the moments- journal/ take and organize pictures
* I put the first of Landry's pictures into an album
* I did start a journal, which consists of sermon notes, prayer journaling, random journaling. It's by
no means an everyday thing, but it's a start.
3. Learn to do something new
* I did buy 2 hanging plants, so that could be the start of learning to garden, right?
4. Go somewhere new
5. Go to coffee/lunch with someone new each month
* January- met a friend at Panera
* February- met a different friend at Panera
* March- go somewhere other than Panera :)
Career
1. Get a part-time job or internship
2. Join a local bar (code for legal networking club)
3. Pay dues to FL Bar
4. Get some CLE credit
5. Volunteer/work with human trafficking organization
* Am meeting with a new friend whose organization No More helps support organizations fighting
human trafficking and other issues to see how I can get involved
Physical
1. Run a 1/2 marathon
* Josh and I ran the Gasparilla half-marathon on February 24. I ran a 2:06, which beat my previous
time by almost 15 minutes! And I didn't have to walk until 10 1/2 miles.
2. Develop a healthy eating lifestyle
3. Get back to pre-baby weight
* So close- about 2-3 lbs. away
4. Run a mile in under 8 minutes
* Josh challenged me to do a speed workout, where I had to run back to back fast miles and both
were under 8 minutes! My fastest time was 7:17
5. Join an exercise class
Spiritual
1. Establish a daily quiet time/prayer time
* It's not exactly daily yet, but I do get to it more days than not. I'm having to be content with the
fact that it is not at the same time everyday, but I have a 6 month old so give me a break.
2. Do a Beth Moore bible study
* It's not Beth Moore, but I'm getting ready to lead a bible study for college-aged girls by Kelly
Minter called, Nehemiah.
3. Read through the Old Testament
* I've read Joel, Proverbs, and Ezra.
4. Find a mentor and be a mentor
5. Embrace and live in the promises of God
* Continually working on this one!
Homemaking
1. Put hardwood in dining room
2. Finish painting
3. Put backsplash in kitchen
4. Improve on cooking :)
* I AM cooking, sometimes :)
5. Organize! (garage/closets/office/laundry room)
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
TRUST
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6
I included this verse in my last post, so you know what has been a reoccurring theme in my life over the past few months. Time after time when I have wanted to get overwhelmed and just throw in the towel or compare my life to somebody else's or wish for a magic genie that would grant me my three wishes, God has whispered, TRUST. For a Type A, semi-control freak like me, that is anything but easy, and I know that is exactly why God has asked this of me. He is building my character. (Rom 5:4, James 1:2-4). Ugh! I don't want character and perseverance. Well, I do. I just don't want what it takes to get there!
It seems that over this last month, a bunch of little things have been thrown our way and leave us scratching our heads trying to come up with a plan, and God is saying TRUST. Most of the obstacles we have encountered have to do with the lack of finances, which for me is just about the most aggravating thing ever. We thought that the answer to the problems was for me to get a job, and I almost did (see last post), but it wasn't, and God was saying TRUST. Then, when we decided that I would continue to stay at home and wait for a job that was right for us- part-time, flexible, and something I would be passionate about, we got slammed with unexpected bills, causing us to question the job situation again. And God was saying TRUST. Just today, Josh's car blew out a tire, and I once again began searching for jobs, and God is saying TRUST.
Part of me is relieved that it's not up to me to fix our situation and come up with the right plan and that I can just hand over all the worry and fears to a holy God that is more than capable of handling the situation. But the other part of me is constantly thinking and analyzing and knows that if I just think hard enough, I will find the answer.
TRUST = lean not on your own understanding.
So, I'm working on that...
I included this verse in my last post, so you know what has been a reoccurring theme in my life over the past few months. Time after time when I have wanted to get overwhelmed and just throw in the towel or compare my life to somebody else's or wish for a magic genie that would grant me my three wishes, God has whispered, TRUST. For a Type A, semi-control freak like me, that is anything but easy, and I know that is exactly why God has asked this of me. He is building my character. (Rom 5:4, James 1:2-4). Ugh! I don't want character and perseverance. Well, I do. I just don't want what it takes to get there!
It seems that over this last month, a bunch of little things have been thrown our way and leave us scratching our heads trying to come up with a plan, and God is saying TRUST. Most of the obstacles we have encountered have to do with the lack of finances, which for me is just about the most aggravating thing ever. We thought that the answer to the problems was for me to get a job, and I almost did (see last post), but it wasn't, and God was saying TRUST. Then, when we decided that I would continue to stay at home and wait for a job that was right for us- part-time, flexible, and something I would be passionate about, we got slammed with unexpected bills, causing us to question the job situation again. And God was saying TRUST. Just today, Josh's car blew out a tire, and I once again began searching for jobs, and God is saying TRUST.
Part of me is relieved that it's not up to me to fix our situation and come up with the right plan and that I can just hand over all the worry and fears to a holy God that is more than capable of handling the situation. But the other part of me is constantly thinking and analyzing and knows that if I just think hard enough, I will find the answer.
TRUST = lean not on your own understanding.
So, I'm working on that...
Monday, February 4, 2013
Freedom in Decision
I am currently listening to an online conference for pastors' wives and women in ministry and a lot of what they have been talking about prompted this blog. I have found when I have a lot of anxious thoughts swimming around in my head, it is so helpful for me to write it down. Putting my thoughts to words takes the fear out of them. It helps me to think rationally, and so that's what I'm hoping to do here now.
The topic of the conference is FREEDOM and the sessions have included living in freedom, freedom in expectations, freedom in parenting, etc. I titled this post, "Freedom in Decision" not because I have figured out the key to having freedom in decision-making but because I need it desperately right now. I am, by far, the most indecisive person I know. I hate making decisions, I hate having choices. Well, let me clarify, I usually know what I do NOT want, but I would be hard-pressed to tell you what I do want. I am the person that would like to have a detailed blueprint for my life or a guide always pointing the way.
Right now, I am at a crossroads in my life, and it feels very overwhelming and like I'm stuck staring at the sign, trying to figure out which way to go. The stress of making this decision has seeped into every other area of my life, and my whole day revolves around repeatedly making a pros and cons list in my head or trying to think of every little detail, not wanting to leave any stone unturned. I want to have all the facts and have thought of all the logistics before making the decision. The decision lying in front of me is whether or not I am going to go to work full-time. The question is not whether I want to work or not, I do. And I still do after having had Landry 5 months ago, but I want to work part-time. I feel that working part-time would give me the perfect balance in my life, but of course, that is not the option I have.
I'm finding it kind of frustrating that this perfect job opportunity would fall into my lap at the same time I finished reading, "The Mission of Motherhood," which is an excellent book on motherhood in which a mother outlines how she has created a Christ-centered home for her children. And not that I can't work and be the kind of mother I aspire to be, but it seems that there will have to be sacrifices somewhere down the line, and I want it all. That brings me to today's online conference. As I was listening to these women talk about finding freedom in your life, I realized that I would never have freedom in my decisions until I submitted them to God. While I absolutely have done that with this life-altering decision, I have also taken the decision-making back into my hands time after time.
Some of the words of one of the speakers really hit home. Although she was talking about freedom in parenting, it also applies here. She was talking about how one of the parenting mistakes we might make is in parenting out of fear by always saying everything we don't want our kids to be or think. She went on to say that we should instead parent out of vision and think of what we do want for our kids. I translated that lesson to this choice and thought that I have definitely been approaching this decision out of fear of what I don't want my life and my family's life to be like, and I have been allowing those fears to shape my decision-making. Instead I should be focused on God's vision for my life and what lines up with that.
The other take away from today was a verse that I have heard over a million times and have had memorized since I was a child, but today as I mulled over the verse, I allowed the words to really penetrate my heart. "TRUST in God with all your heart and LEAN NOT on your own understanding and in all your ways ACKNOWLEDGE him and he will make your paths straight." Out beside the verse, I wrote the 3 things God requires us to do in order for him to direct our way: 1) Trust, 2) Lean not on myself, and 3) Acknowledge him in everything I do. It seems so simple when I outline it like that. I have been working so hard on complicating this decision that I haven't allowed God to do his part. The ultimate key to having freedom in our decisions in placing our WHOLE trust in God.
The topic of the conference is FREEDOM and the sessions have included living in freedom, freedom in expectations, freedom in parenting, etc. I titled this post, "Freedom in Decision" not because I have figured out the key to having freedom in decision-making but because I need it desperately right now. I am, by far, the most indecisive person I know. I hate making decisions, I hate having choices. Well, let me clarify, I usually know what I do NOT want, but I would be hard-pressed to tell you what I do want. I am the person that would like to have a detailed blueprint for my life or a guide always pointing the way.
Right now, I am at a crossroads in my life, and it feels very overwhelming and like I'm stuck staring at the sign, trying to figure out which way to go. The stress of making this decision has seeped into every other area of my life, and my whole day revolves around repeatedly making a pros and cons list in my head or trying to think of every little detail, not wanting to leave any stone unturned. I want to have all the facts and have thought of all the logistics before making the decision. The decision lying in front of me is whether or not I am going to go to work full-time. The question is not whether I want to work or not, I do. And I still do after having had Landry 5 months ago, but I want to work part-time. I feel that working part-time would give me the perfect balance in my life, but of course, that is not the option I have.
I'm finding it kind of frustrating that this perfect job opportunity would fall into my lap at the same time I finished reading, "The Mission of Motherhood," which is an excellent book on motherhood in which a mother outlines how she has created a Christ-centered home for her children. And not that I can't work and be the kind of mother I aspire to be, but it seems that there will have to be sacrifices somewhere down the line, and I want it all. That brings me to today's online conference. As I was listening to these women talk about finding freedom in your life, I realized that I would never have freedom in my decisions until I submitted them to God. While I absolutely have done that with this life-altering decision, I have also taken the decision-making back into my hands time after time.
Some of the words of one of the speakers really hit home. Although she was talking about freedom in parenting, it also applies here. She was talking about how one of the parenting mistakes we might make is in parenting out of fear by always saying everything we don't want our kids to be or think. She went on to say that we should instead parent out of vision and think of what we do want for our kids. I translated that lesson to this choice and thought that I have definitely been approaching this decision out of fear of what I don't want my life and my family's life to be like, and I have been allowing those fears to shape my decision-making. Instead I should be focused on God's vision for my life and what lines up with that.
The other take away from today was a verse that I have heard over a million times and have had memorized since I was a child, but today as I mulled over the verse, I allowed the words to really penetrate my heart. "TRUST in God with all your heart and LEAN NOT on your own understanding and in all your ways ACKNOWLEDGE him and he will make your paths straight." Out beside the verse, I wrote the 3 things God requires us to do in order for him to direct our way: 1) Trust, 2) Lean not on myself, and 3) Acknowledge him in everything I do. It seems so simple when I outline it like that. I have been working so hard on complicating this decision that I haven't allowed God to do his part. The ultimate key to having freedom in our decisions in placing our WHOLE trust in God.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
2013 Goals
I haven't made any written goal lists in quite a few years. I like the idea of setting goals, though, because it moves us forward. I say "goals" instead of "resolutions" because to me, resoultions are often unattainable and unrealistic and goals indicate what you are striving toward and not necessarily what you will accomplish (so the pressure is off). So here is my list of 2013 goals so I can remember them and so that you can hold me accountable!
Personal
1. Read 1 novel and 1 non-fiction book a month
2. Capture the moments- journal/ take and organize pictures
3. Learn to do something new
4. Go somewhere new
5. Go to coffee/lunch with someone new each month
Career
1. Get a part-time job or internship
2. Join a local bar (code for legal networking club)
3. Pay dues to FL Bar
4. Get some CLE credit
5. Volunteer/work with human trafficking organization
Physical
1. Run a 1/2 marathon
2. Develop a healthy eating lifestyled
3. Get back to pre-baby weight
4. Run a mile in under 8 minutes
5. Join an exercise class
Spiritual
1. Establish a daily quiet time/prayer time
2. Do a Beth Moore bible study
3. Read through the Old Testament
4. Find a mentor and be a mentor
5. Embrace and live in the promises of God
Homemaking
1. Put hardwood in dining room
2. Finish painting
3. Put backsplash in kitchen
4. Improve on cooking :)
5. Organize! (garage/closets/office/laundry room)
Personal
1. Read 1 novel and 1 non-fiction book a month
2. Capture the moments- journal/ take and organize pictures
3. Learn to do something new
4. Go somewhere new
5. Go to coffee/lunch with someone new each month
Career
1. Get a part-time job or internship
2. Join a local bar (code for legal networking club)
3. Pay dues to FL Bar
4. Get some CLE credit
5. Volunteer/work with human trafficking organization
Physical
1. Run a 1/2 marathon
2. Develop a healthy eating lifestyled
3. Get back to pre-baby weight
4. Run a mile in under 8 minutes
5. Join an exercise class
Spiritual
1. Establish a daily quiet time/prayer time
2. Do a Beth Moore bible study
3. Read through the Old Testament
4. Find a mentor and be a mentor
5. Embrace and live in the promises of God
Homemaking
1. Put hardwood in dining room
2. Finish painting
3. Put backsplash in kitchen
4. Improve on cooking :)
5. Organize! (garage/closets/office/laundry room)
Monday, December 10, 2012
Beyond Sacrifice
Today is my dad's 61st birthday, and last weekend, he received an early birthday present- A Mini Cooper!
When my mom sent me the picture of Dad sitting in his new car in the church parking lot, I almost didn't believe it. I cannot remember my dad ever driving a nice car. My mom always drove the newer and nicer cars, and Dad always drove the clunkers (literally). When I was born, he had a bright yellow Nissan truck. I always thought it was ugly, but looking back at it now, it was probably the oldest and ugliest car in his work parking lot. That never seemed to bother him. After he had to get rid of the truck, he has driven numerous older cars, including Mom's old wood paneled van, a couple of Saturns and a green and purple Suzuki. Even his 3 teenage daughters drove nicer cars!
So when I saw the picture of Dad in his dream car, I was ecstatic for him. What an appropriate birthday gift for a man who has lived a life of sacrifice. I began thinking of all the things that my dad has sacrificed for his family and all the times his sacrifices have gone unrewarded. For me, the ultimate sacrifice my father made for me was changing jobs to work at a local college so that I could receive full tuition at a sister college. I think about how hard it must have been for him to give up a job he enjoyed so I could go to the college of my choice.
While Dad loves his new car, and I'm so glad that after the years of waiting, he can drive something he enjoys, I know without a doubt, he would continue to drive clunkers if his family needed him too. A new car isn't a big enough reward for all the years of sacrificial living, but I know that my Dad's ultimate reward will come in heaven when the Father looks at him and says, "Well done my faithful servant." My dad's life is a constant example of the type of life God calls us to- a life that puts others before ourselves, a life that sacrifices no matter the cost. It spurs me on to continue to live sacrificially even in the absence of recognition or reward because I know that the ultimate reward for a life of sacrifice is not found here on this earth.
So, Happy Birthday, Dad! Thank you for your living example of sacrifice, and enjoy your new car. You more than deserve it.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Living in the In Between
It's been almost a month since I started writing this blog in my head. In fact, I even titled it and saved it in my posts, thinking that would motivate me to write it. No such luck. A combination of procrastination and the demands of having a newborn have kept me from finishing it, but tonight as Landry is asleep in his swing and Josh is at church, I have no excuse.
Several times since Landry was born (8/15/12), I have caught myself thinking how hard transitional times are in life, especially for us Type A personalities. I tend to thrive best in a routine. I don't always love structure, but I need it. It's not even that I need the same routine, I just need a routine. I have learned to do well with change. You develop that skill when you have lived in 5 different states in the last 6 years. So after graduating law school, taking the dreaded bar exam, and having a baby, all in the span of 3 months, it's not the changes that have thrown me for a loop, it's the time of transition.
When I was in high school and college, I wrote a plethora of essays and research papers, and I really did enjoy writing. However, one thing I always struggled with were those transition sentences that are required to take your reader from one paragraph to the other and from one thought to the next. I am also guilty when having a conversation of jumping from topic to topic and confusing my listener because I have not let them in on the private conversation I am having with myself in my head. I just want to jump right to the next thing and not neatly tie up the last topic or introduce a new one.
Just as in literature and conversation where transitions are integral to tell a story, times of transition are necessary in life, even though they can be incredibly hard. Often in my writing, I would put the same generic transition sentences in every paragraph, hoping that my teacher would just pass right over them and not give them much attention. I have found myself living life in the same way. I try to ignore those transitional phases or sit idly by, waiting for life to return to normalcy. Right now, I think of all the things that I seem to be stuck in between and my tendency is to wish that life would fast forward to the other side. I am in between school and finding a job; in between being pregnant and fitting into those pre-pregnancy jeans; in between not exercising due to pregnancy and getting back into shape; and the list goes on and on.
As I began to complain about all the things I couldn't wait to happen in my life, I began to realize that we are always living in the in between. We are always in between something in our lives, and if that is the case, I will always be walking numbly through my life, wishing it away to get to the next stage. The in between is necessary in life because it allows us to appreciate the chapter that we are closing and prepare for the one that is ahead. We must learn to embrace those times of transition in our lives and learn how to live through them, not merely surviving but thriving.
Several times since Landry was born (8/15/12), I have caught myself thinking how hard transitional times are in life, especially for us Type A personalities. I tend to thrive best in a routine. I don't always love structure, but I need it. It's not even that I need the same routine, I just need a routine. I have learned to do well with change. You develop that skill when you have lived in 5 different states in the last 6 years. So after graduating law school, taking the dreaded bar exam, and having a baby, all in the span of 3 months, it's not the changes that have thrown me for a loop, it's the time of transition.
When I was in high school and college, I wrote a plethora of essays and research papers, and I really did enjoy writing. However, one thing I always struggled with were those transition sentences that are required to take your reader from one paragraph to the other and from one thought to the next. I am also guilty when having a conversation of jumping from topic to topic and confusing my listener because I have not let them in on the private conversation I am having with myself in my head. I just want to jump right to the next thing and not neatly tie up the last topic or introduce a new one.
Just as in literature and conversation where transitions are integral to tell a story, times of transition are necessary in life, even though they can be incredibly hard. Often in my writing, I would put the same generic transition sentences in every paragraph, hoping that my teacher would just pass right over them and not give them much attention. I have found myself living life in the same way. I try to ignore those transitional phases or sit idly by, waiting for life to return to normalcy. Right now, I think of all the things that I seem to be stuck in between and my tendency is to wish that life would fast forward to the other side. I am in between school and finding a job; in between being pregnant and fitting into those pre-pregnancy jeans; in between not exercising due to pregnancy and getting back into shape; and the list goes on and on.
As I began to complain about all the things I couldn't wait to happen in my life, I began to realize that we are always living in the in between. We are always in between something in our lives, and if that is the case, I will always be walking numbly through my life, wishing it away to get to the next stage. The in between is necessary in life because it allows us to appreciate the chapter that we are closing and prepare for the one that is ahead. We must learn to embrace those times of transition in our lives and learn how to live through them, not merely surviving but thriving.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Thank You
Whew, has it been a long time since I posted on this blog. I refuse to feel guilty about that, however, seeing as how in the last almost 4 months since I have posted, I have graduated law school, spent the summer studying and taking the bar exam, and have been preparing to have a baby (which is due within the next week, by the way). Even though I have a lot currently on my mind that I could write about, including the impending birth of my first child, the freedom of being out of school, or the ridiculously controversial Chick-Fil-A saga, there is only one thing I would like to say today and that is THANK YOU.
The timing of being 9 months pregnant and having just finished my formal 22 years of schooling has left me feeling very grateful these last few months. I would be naive to think that I have gotten to this place on my own, and I would be ungrateful if I did not thank those that have helped me along the way. So...
THANK YOU to my parents who have always supported me (despite my resistance) whether it be sitting in the stands at a soccer game to watching me misspell t-a-m-a-l-e in the county spelling bee. They instilled in me the idea that I could be anything that I wanted to be as long as I was willing to work for it. I am who I am today because of their love and support.
THANK YOU to my sisters who were forced to support me in everything I do, and now continue to do it willingly. They have inspired me as I have watched what they have achieved and the women they have become. Although I am the oldest, I have honestly always looked up to them.
THANK YOU to teachers and mentors that I have had along the way, from my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Hansen, to my college mentor and friend, Dr. Floyd. They have taught me the value of education and working hard and have inspired me to be a life-long learner.
THANK YOU to my friends who have brought fun into my life, amidst the hours and hours of studying. When I think of my time in school, I not only think about the grades and the tests, but of the memories made with great friends. I think of high school sleepovers at Laura's house and Starbucks breaks with Lauren and life-changing conversations with Natalie. My journey would not have been as fun without you.
THANK YOU to everybody who has lifted up a prayer for me in my 28 years. They are far too numerous to count, but I smile every time I thank of one of you and know that you have truly cared for me. I have felt your prayers many times. It is what has kept me going when I did not think I could.
And finally...THANK YOU to my husband of 6 years and the father of my soon-to-be born child. I didn't really know what I needed in a life partner until God gave me Josh. He has been nothing but encouraging of my seemingly endless schooling (I have been in school 5 out of 6 years of marriage), even though it has taken away from other things. He has mostly been willing to pick up the slack of cleaning, cooking, and the other things that get pushed to the side when studying takes precedent. He has reminded me over and over of why I entered this law school endeavor and has put big dreams in my heart for how God wants to use my giftings. He has been truly unselfish as I have pursued my goals and for that I could not love him more. Now, I'm looking forward to cooking for him and maybe even vacuuming every now and then :)
THANK YOU
The timing of being 9 months pregnant and having just finished my formal 22 years of schooling has left me feeling very grateful these last few months. I would be naive to think that I have gotten to this place on my own, and I would be ungrateful if I did not thank those that have helped me along the way. So...
THANK YOU to my parents who have always supported me (despite my resistance) whether it be sitting in the stands at a soccer game to watching me misspell t-a-m-a-l-e in the county spelling bee. They instilled in me the idea that I could be anything that I wanted to be as long as I was willing to work for it. I am who I am today because of their love and support.
THANK YOU to my sisters who were forced to support me in everything I do, and now continue to do it willingly. They have inspired me as I have watched what they have achieved and the women they have become. Although I am the oldest, I have honestly always looked up to them.
THANK YOU to teachers and mentors that I have had along the way, from my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Hansen, to my college mentor and friend, Dr. Floyd. They have taught me the value of education and working hard and have inspired me to be a life-long learner.
THANK YOU to my friends who have brought fun into my life, amidst the hours and hours of studying. When I think of my time in school, I not only think about the grades and the tests, but of the memories made with great friends. I think of high school sleepovers at Laura's house and Starbucks breaks with Lauren and life-changing conversations with Natalie. My journey would not have been as fun without you.
THANK YOU to everybody who has lifted up a prayer for me in my 28 years. They are far too numerous to count, but I smile every time I thank of one of you and know that you have truly cared for me. I have felt your prayers many times. It is what has kept me going when I did not think I could.
And finally...THANK YOU to my husband of 6 years and the father of my soon-to-be born child. I didn't really know what I needed in a life partner until God gave me Josh. He has been nothing but encouraging of my seemingly endless schooling (I have been in school 5 out of 6 years of marriage), even though it has taken away from other things. He has mostly been willing to pick up the slack of cleaning, cooking, and the other things that get pushed to the side when studying takes precedent. He has reminded me over and over of why I entered this law school endeavor and has put big dreams in my heart for how God wants to use my giftings. He has been truly unselfish as I have pursued my goals and for that I could not love him more. Now, I'm looking forward to cooking for him and maybe even vacuuming every now and then :)
THANK YOU
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