I'd like to think that I am always trying to improve some area of my life, growing in some positive way. This year I have been focusing on improving my investments, not in my stock portfolio but in my relationships. Due to a series of events and moves and a variety of other situations, I have become somewhat closed-off when it comes to making new relationships. Just like an investment in stocks can be risky, especially in this market, I view an investment in new relationships as a huge risk, and because I am not known to be a risk-taker, I often miss out on promising new relationships and keep things at surface level. I know that I have written about this before, but it is because it is a huge area in my life where I know I need improvement, and for once, I am trying to actually do something about it.
As I look back over my life, I have never really been disappointed in investing in a relationship. In fact, I have many fond memories and am glad that I took the risk instead of just staying on the surface. So, why do I continue to hesitate to make the investment? I think it is because I have often in recent years been the new kid, and I have assumed that people already have their friends and they are not looking to make any more. So, I don't initiate conversations or excuses to get together. I feel that friendships should just happen; people should just click and suddenly be best friends. I know that isn't how it happens, but don't you wish it was? Friendships take work, just like with any relationship, and they often take the most work in the beginning.
It's not that I have always had problems making friends. I always had close friends growing up, and it didn't seem hard to make new ones. But I grew up in a small town and lived there until I went to college. I had friends by proximity by the fact that I saw them everyday at school. When you are young, friendships do just happen, and if you're lucky and are willing to put in the work, they can last for a lifetime. Nobody prepares you for the fact that making adult friendships is hard work and just letting things happen doesn't work anymore. I recently realized that now that we are settled in a place we plan to be for a long time, I can no longer use the excuse that I won't be here very long. I also realized I don't want to live the rest of my life without friends (that live within 10 minutes of me). Because of these realizations, I have determined to do the work, to do what it takes to form relationships, and hopefully when I look back years from now, my work will have been well worth it.
