CONGRATULATIONS to my baby sister and her now husband (my new brother)!
They became man and wife on September 3, 2011. Blessed to be apart of their lives and their special day (a more detailed blog to follow).
Monday, September 12, 2011
Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Brett and Lauren Denton
CONGRATULATIONS to my baby sister and her now husband (my new brother)!
They became man and wife on September 3, 2011. Blessed to be apart of their lives and their special day (a more detailed blog to follow).
Sunday, September 11, 2011
I Can Forgive
I love my church (Grace Family Church) and one of the many reasons is because our pastor doesn't shy away from the tough issues. The current sermon series is entitled, Freedom, and in this week's message, Pastor Craig talked about how lack of forgiveness can be a roadblock to freedom in our lives. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was totally prepared to zone out of the service this morning. I wasn't feeling well, and my thoughts were consumed of all the things that I still had to do today. I also knew for a fact that I didn't have forgiveness issues. In fact, I consider that to be one of my strengths, being able to forgive and move on.
During the worship time, I was feeling guilty for having predetermined that I wasn't going to get anything out of the message. So, I whispered a quick prayer that God would reveal at least one tidbit that I could take away from the message. You probably know where I'm going with this. When we expect little from God, he shows up in a BIG way. And that is exactly what he did this morning. Pastor Craig asked us to put the name of the individual we needed to forgive on an index card and then we were to place the card at the altar as a symbol that we were removing that obstacle of unforgiveness from our life. As I sat there racking my brain for the person I was supposed to forgive, all that came to mind were trivial things like how Josh hadn't washed the dishes last night or how my sister had forgotten to thank me for doing her a favor, neither situation which would merit holding a grudge. And then it hit me right there in my gut. You know the kind of feeling that makes your stomach and your heart hurt at the same time, and it becomes hard to breathe. I knew without a doubt the name that I had to write down on the card. I knew right then that I was wrong, I did have a forgiveness issue and it was a major one. The person that I needed to forgive, the grudge that was keeping me from experiencing freedom was ME.
I have no problem forgiving others when they hurt me, but I had not been able to forgive myself for years. Even though others had forgiven me long ago and relationships have been restored, I have been continuing to punish myself for my indiscretions, not feeling worthy of forgiveness. I realized this morning, pen shaking in my hand as I wrote my name on the card, that my inability to forgive myself has robbed me of joy in my life, that feeling like I am unworthy of forgiveness has diminished Christ's power of restoration. By resisting healing, I have been indicating to God that I do not believe in his redeeming grace. As all these thoughts were swirling in my head, I had to fight hard to keep the tears from falling as I thought of how much I have missed, of how I could have traded years of feeling worthless and ruined for the great joy that comes from finding freedom in perfect love.
I walked up to the front, dropped my card on the platform, and vowed to throw off the chains of unforgiveness. How can I argue with God, who sent his Son to the cross to pay the price for all sin, and claim to be the exception to His grace? I CANNOT.
"My grace is sufficient for you..." 2 Corinthians 12:9
During the worship time, I was feeling guilty for having predetermined that I wasn't going to get anything out of the message. So, I whispered a quick prayer that God would reveal at least one tidbit that I could take away from the message. You probably know where I'm going with this. When we expect little from God, he shows up in a BIG way. And that is exactly what he did this morning. Pastor Craig asked us to put the name of the individual we needed to forgive on an index card and then we were to place the card at the altar as a symbol that we were removing that obstacle of unforgiveness from our life. As I sat there racking my brain for the person I was supposed to forgive, all that came to mind were trivial things like how Josh hadn't washed the dishes last night or how my sister had forgotten to thank me for doing her a favor, neither situation which would merit holding a grudge. And then it hit me right there in my gut. You know the kind of feeling that makes your stomach and your heart hurt at the same time, and it becomes hard to breathe. I knew without a doubt the name that I had to write down on the card. I knew right then that I was wrong, I did have a forgiveness issue and it was a major one. The person that I needed to forgive, the grudge that was keeping me from experiencing freedom was ME.
I have no problem forgiving others when they hurt me, but I had not been able to forgive myself for years. Even though others had forgiven me long ago and relationships have been restored, I have been continuing to punish myself for my indiscretions, not feeling worthy of forgiveness. I realized this morning, pen shaking in my hand as I wrote my name on the card, that my inability to forgive myself has robbed me of joy in my life, that feeling like I am unworthy of forgiveness has diminished Christ's power of restoration. By resisting healing, I have been indicating to God that I do not believe in his redeeming grace. As all these thoughts were swirling in my head, I had to fight hard to keep the tears from falling as I thought of how much I have missed, of how I could have traded years of feeling worthless and ruined for the great joy that comes from finding freedom in perfect love.
I walked up to the front, dropped my card on the platform, and vowed to throw off the chains of unforgiveness. How can I argue with God, who sent his Son to the cross to pay the price for all sin, and claim to be the exception to His grace? I CANNOT.
"My grace is sufficient for you..." 2 Corinthians 12:9
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