TRUST

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3: 5-6

I included this verse in my last post, so you know what has been a reoccurring theme in my life over the past few months.  Time after time when I have wanted to get overwhelmed and just throw in the towel or compare my life to somebody else's or wish for a magic genie that would grant me my three wishes, God has whispered, TRUST.  For a Type A, semi-control freak like me, that is anything but easy, and I know that is exactly why God has asked this of me.  He is building my character. (Rom 5:4, James 1:2-4).  Ugh!  I don't want character and perseverance.  Well, I do.  I just don't want what it takes to get there!

It seems that over this last month, a bunch of little things have been thrown our way and leave us scratching our heads trying to come up with a plan, and God is saying TRUST.  Most of the obstacles we have encountered have to do with the lack of finances, which for me is just about the most aggravating thing ever.  We thought that the answer to the problems was for me to get a job, and I almost did (see last post), but it wasn't, and God was saying TRUST.  Then, when we decided that I would continue to stay at home and wait for a job that was right for us- part-time, flexible, and something I would be passionate about, we got slammed with unexpected bills, causing us to question the job situation again.  And God was saying TRUST.  Just today, Josh's car blew out a tire, and I once again began searching for jobs, and God is saying TRUST.

Part of me is relieved that it's not up to me to fix our situation and come up with the right plan and that I can just hand over all the worry and fears to a holy God that is more than capable of handling the situation.  But the other part of me is constantly thinking and analyzing and knows that if I just think hard enough, I will find the answer.

TRUST = lean not on your own understanding.

So, I'm working on that...