Day 15: Rest

Disclosure: Stream of consciousness writing ahead. Very rough draft.  Keeping it real :)

I have been toying with the idea of rest over the last couple of days.  In particular, what God says about rest.  We all know that we need sleep to function, and we know that God commands us to rest on the Sabbath.  There are also verses about being still and resting in him by handing over our burdens.  I often take "rest" out of the biblical context though and add my own definitions.  We use the word "rest" in the sense that it is something that we deserve after a hard day or when we have taken on too many responsibilities (in our opinion).  I don't necessarily think that "rest" is something we deserve or a right we get when we work hard.  God does say he provides rest for the weary, but he also says he will renew our strength when we are tired.  I had this sudden revelation today that "rest" isn't supposed to be something that I schedule in my day, but rather something that God provides for me.  It isn't a right I deserve but a blessing he gives.  He does command us to be still, but it is in order for us "to know he is God" and not for us to watch tv or take a nap.  Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying those things are bad. Believe me, I do my fair share.  This has just been a new concept I have been thinking about, and these are my current thoughts on the matter and by no means, the authority on the situation.  I think too often I am wary to commit to something, or I justify not doing house chores or other responsibilities because I think I need a time of rest, instead of trusting God that he will give me the rest I need.  This week, I have been trying to rest less and let God provide the rest for me, and as a result, I have procrastinated less on tasks and have had less regret at the end of the day.  Even though I have done less sitting on the couch, I have had more than enough energy to get me through the day, maybe more.  I do believe that we need rest and even long periods or seasons of rest, but I'm trying to think less in terms that I deserve it and more that God provides it.

Day 14: Independence Day

Happy 4th, Ya'll!

"May we think of freedom not as the right to do as we please, but as the opportunity to do what is right."  - Peter Marshall

Day 13: Do Different

So, yes, I have not blogged for the last two days.  If I recall when I said I was going to be blogging for 30 days, I didn't say 30 days in a row.  So, I'm going to keep trucking on!

Josh has been off work this week, which has been great because we have been able to do a lot of fun things as a family.  Because he has been off, I have been both more productive and less productive than I usually am.  If that makes sense.  I think we have all had times when we feel that there just aren't enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished.  I have definitely had more than my fair share of days like that.  I can't even count how many days I get to 10PM and realize that I haven't done my bible study, haven't worked out, and the list goes on and on.  During one of those days this week, I thought back on the day and what I had done and realized that my day consisted mostly of things that weren't on my to-do list. They were either mindless activities like watching tv or playing Candy Crush, or they were things I could have done later.  I began to realize that the days I was the most stressed were the days that I didn't get my priority things done.  My immediate thought was that I needed to less in order to fit everything I wanted to do in, and then I thought about all the things that I do on a daily basis that take up so much time that aren't necessary.  Then it hit me, I don't need to do less, I need to do different.  I began to list in my head the things I wanted to get done, in order of priority.  Instead of leaving the most important things for the end of the day, how about doing them first?  What a novel idea!  Then on a slow day, I'll be able to watch that tv show off the DVR, and on a crazy day, at least I will have gotten the things done that I really needed to.  Before Landry was born, it seemed like I could do everything in one day, even if I procrastinated until after dinner.  It's amazing how one little baby can wreak havoc on your schedule.  Although I do love all his little interruptions, they do not make for a productive momma.  It has taken me almost 10 months to figure out this new version of productivity.  I'm getting there slowly but surely to the new normal.

Day 12: To Worship You I Live

One of my favorite current worship songs by Israel Houghton.

Day 11: Now That I'm a Mother

Now that I'm a mother, I am a lot of things that I was not before.  One of them being a cryer.  I have never been a cryer, but now my emotions are on overdrive.  But it's a good thing.  I feel things more deeply; I can connect with people on a deeper level than I could before.  This weekend is worship weekend at Grace Family Church, and tonight Josh and I had the privilege of praying with several people during the service.  One of them was a young lady who had just found out she was pregnant and her boyfriend split when she told him.  She was visibly shaken and admitted how scared she was about the whole situation.  As I was praying for her and thanking God for her unborn child and how he already had a plan for him, I got choked up and almost couldn't finish the prayer.  While I was praying for her child, I couldn't help but think of mine and tears of gratitude began to flow.

Day 10: Getting to Know Me (A Silly Quiz)

I couldn't think of anything to write today, and I love filling out surveys and questionnaires.  So, I thought it would be fun to post this little quiz, and hopefully, you'll enjoy reading it as much as I did filling it out!

1. Are you parents married or divorced?
Been married for almost 38 years :)

2. Are you a vegetarian?
Uh, no (no offense to those who are)

3.  Do you believe in Heaven?
Yes

4. Have you ever come close to dying?
Actually, when I was 14, I was at a basketball camp, and I had a freak fall on the court. I fractured my skull in 5 places and was in the hospital for days.

5.  What jewelry do you wear daily?
My wedding rings, Landry's birthstone ring, and earrings

6.  What is your favorite bible verse?
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

7. Have you ever had surgery?
Yes, had my tonsils taken out, thyroid taken out, ear surgery

8. Do you color your hair?
Not on a regular basis.  I have before and I used to get highlights. It's all natural now.

9. Can you roll your tongue?
Yes, and I can also make a 'w' with it

10. Favorite book of the bible
James, and I also love Romans

11.  Future child's name?
Mabry Belle

12. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I would love to go to Italy

13.  Favorite movie?
Life is Beautiful

14.  If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Pay off my student loans

15. Hamburger or hot dog?
Hamburger all the way

16. Where did you eat last?
Ice cream at Baskin Robbins

17. When is the last time you cried?
Yesterday watching Army Wives (and now I'm being really transparent)

18.  Ocean or pool?
Pool

19. Window seat or aisle?
Window seat

20. Do you twirl spaghetti or cut it?
Twirl

21. Basketball or Football?
Football

22. Cake or ice cream?
Ice cream

23.  Coffee or Tea?
Coffee, but I have been trying to replace it every now and then with tea

24.  Favorite sports team?
University of Tennessee Volunteers

25. Current song?
Mirrors, Justin Timberlake

Day 9: A Season of Humbling

"Nothing prepares us for enormous blessing and impact like a season of humbling."  - Kelly Minter, Ruth: Love, Loss, and Legacy

I am currently going through a bible study on Ruth, and it's hitting me in ways I didn't foresee.  I like doing bible studies, especially those focused on books of the bible, because I love history, and I love to learn more about the culture and characters of the bible.  Every time I do a bible study, I am surprised more by the life transformation than the knowledge I acquire.  I shouldn't be surprised because doesn't the Bible say that it is the "breath of life" and has transforming power, yet I always receive more than I expect.  Isn't God great like that?

Anyway, in today's excerpt, I came across the quote above, and it hit home.  Again, I wasn't expecting it.  In fact, if I'm being honest I was planning on having a quick study this morning, read a little word, fill in all the blanks kind-of-a-day.  God, of course, had other plans.  The reason this quote stuck out to me is because I am in the middle of a humbling season myself.  In fact, I feel that it has been more of an era than a season.  Every few months, I get excited and feel like something big is on the horizon, and God continues to humble me in different areas of my life.  Now, don't feel sorry for me.  I have a great life and have been extremely blessed, but I know God has more for me, and in my impatient, selfish nature, I want to have it right now.  I can feel God using different situations and people to shape and mold me and my character, but sometimes, I just want to say, "Ok, God. I'm all done now (or ah duh as Landry says).  You can give me that big blessing you've got waiting for me."

Kelly Minter goes on to say that the Lord uses situations to humble us because he wants the posture of our heart to be fully surrendered to him.   In my impatient, selfish nature, my heart is not fully surrendered.  God wants us to be focused fully on Him and His kingdom and not our own, always thinking about how we can be blessed or live a better life.  The blessings he promises us are not rewards for enduring a hardship or season of humbling.  He blesses us because he loves us, and his ultimate blessing is using us to further His kingdom.  That's where the season of humbling becomes necessary.  So instead of sitting around waiting for that promised blessing to come, I will choose to be thankful for this season and the lessons I'm learning and the character that is being built in me and will take joy in the fact that when the blessings come, my heart will be in the posture to give God all the thanks and not take the credit for myself.